As I was preparing this talk, it felt a little like Deja Vu, since ministering has been on my mind for a while—I even talked about it in our last testimony meeting, so I probably brought this assignment on myself.
Our approach to how we minister should be the same as how we approach all things: by following the example set by the Savior. A sincere desire to be more like Him may start with a familiar question, “What would Jesus do?”
I’m probably not alone in feeling that what began as a sincere reminder to be Christlike has come to be regarded as a cliché simply because so many people who regularly ask the question will, more often than not, get the answer completely wrong. It’s a valid criticism when so many people appear to forget—or simply ignore—what Jesus actually did.
Thankfully, many examples have been preserved and passed down to us in the form of internet memes. Here are some that might sound familiar:
“THIS YEAR I WANT TO BE MORE LIKE JESUS:
“Hang out with sinners
“Upset religious people
“Tell stories that make people think
“Choose unpopular friends
“Be kind loving and merciful
“Take naps on boats.”
Others begin with:
“Be like Jesus” or “Be Christ-like” followed by:
“Gather a crowd
“Preach equality.
“Drink wine
“Call out hypocrites
“Upset men in power.”
My favorite meme says:
“If anyone ever asks you, ‘What would Jesus do?’
“Remind them that flipping over tables and chasing people with a whip is within the realm of possibilities.”
All these examples are based on what’s written about Jesus in the New Testament. Of course, when we don’t bother to actually read the scriptures, we risk confusing being a “Christian” with being “Christlike,” which is problematic. It assumes that calling oneself a “Christian,” automatically endows one with “Christlike” attributes. This can be perceived by others as if we’re saying:
“I’m a Christian; therefore, everything that I think, say, and do is Christlike.”
All it takes is one narrow-minded, self-righteous Christian to embody this attitude to make anyone in their orbit reconsider whether or not they want to continue calling themselves “Christians.” Unfortunately, this attitude exists in many people across all denominations of Christianity, and Latter-day Saints are just as susceptible to it as anyone else.
We can avoid this by actively seeking answers instead of assuming we already possess them intuitively.
“The glory of God is intelligence, or, in other words, light and truth.”
I couldn’t help but wonder if the glory of God can be found in artificial intelligence. When asked, “What would Jesus do?” a popular A.I. platform offered the following response:
“That depends on the situation, but generally, Jesus acted with love, compassion, humility, and wisdom. He prioritized helping others, standing up for truth, and showing grace even in difficult circumstances.”
Ministering is about serving others and should be done without judgment. Our Church is often referred to as a “high-demand religion.” While our doctrine includes concepts like Obedience, Sacrifice, and Consecration, the “demands” being referenced have more to do with the unnecessary and often unfair pressure we tend to place on each other and upon ourselves.
How often have we heard, “We miss seeing you at church”?
It may not be intentional, but such statements are manipulative and cruel, and we need to stop using them. Not only does it express discomfort and regret, but it also identifies a cause for those feelings: the person being addressed.
Instead of feeling loved and missed, they feel like they failed to live up to expectations, which gets internalized as failing God.
Ministering is not about policing each other. It’s about being better friends and neighbors and showing genuine and consistent love and friendship for one another without an agenda.
Home and visiting teaching typically involved delivering a single prepared message to everyone. Ministering is less about messages and presents us with opportunities to listen.
As we minister to others, we must allow the Spirit to guide us and remember that everyone is in a different phase of their journey, with various struggles and needs. Not only is there no such thing as a single fix for every problem, not everyone is even looking for a solution. Sometimes, people just need to be heard.
There is a General Conference talk titled: “Integrity: a Christ-like attribute.” When discussing this talk in our Elders’ quorum, we recognized that having integrity means being willing to have difficult conversations. Difficulties like faith struggles, pain caused by other members, and personal doubts feel uncomfortable because we have all dealt with them to one degree or another.
How often have we felt uncomfortable when faced with a challenging topic and quickly steered the conversation to something completely unrelated or at least easier to talk about? Was that fair? Was it helpful? Probably not.
Ministering in a Christlike way requires honesty, especially with ourselves. We must consider our past mistakes—especially with less active and former members, many of whom already perceive ministering as just another “reactivation project.”
Jesus associated with those whom society rejected, showing that His love had no barriers. His example shows that we are supposed to treat everyone as fellow children of God, as our brothers and sisters—not as “projects”. We are to love people as they are today, without expectations.
As we minister, we must also prepare ourselves for rejection. Some people do not want to be ministered to. Some want no contact with the Church in any way shape or form, and we must respect that. It is not our place to speculate or assume why. We only need to remember that it’s not personal, nor is it justification to stop loving them.
A lot of members and former members struggle to reconcile the painful effects of religious trauma, which can take many forms. Some of us can find comfort within our faith, while others must distance themselves from the circumstances associated with that pain.
The General Handbook provides simple instructions for removing one’s name from official Church records. It’s important to note that the presence of one’s name in a database is not a saving ordinance. It serves an administrative function and has no real bearing on one’s salvation.
For those who have experienced the real pain of religious trauma, if the only way for them to find closure and to heal is to resign their formal membership in the Church, helping them to understand the protocol to do so would be the Christ-like thing to do.